The White Book
by Kirino Imouto Lover
Summary: It's Noble Ipalae Day, which comes once every four years. Sabrina has a strange desire-to have cousin Amanda fart on her. Will it come true?


The White Book

Chapter One

Sabrina was tossing and turning in bed. For some reason she felt a strange desire, but it couldn't be for real. She must be dreaming—otherwise she wouldn't want to do _that._

She shook her head vigorously, but the thought wouldn't go away. Going downstairs, she saw her aunts in their pajamas and Salem Saberhagen on the counter eating trout. Hild had just received a message from the Other Realm via the toaster; she did not look pleased.

"Aunt Zelda, Aunt Hilda, I have a really strange desire and I don't know where it came from," Sabrina said.

Zelda pointed a finger at the table and a calendar appeared. "Oh, will you look at that? It's March second of the leap year. Noble Ipalae Day."

"It is?" Hilda asked. "I hate N.I.D. Especially this N.I.D."

"Noble Ipalae? What does that mean?"

"It means that whatever you wished for this morning will have to come true before your desire can go away," Zelda explained.

"That's not good," Sabrina lamented.

"Surely we can make it happen, if you tell us what it is," Hilda said.

"I can't; you guys will think I'm bananas."

"Well, you're certainly not the cat's meow," Salem said, licking his trips as he had finished his trout.

"Does it involve anyone? We can summon them if we have to," Hilda said, nosily.

"If Sabrina wants to keep it a secret, that is her choice," Zelda said.

"It involves Amanda," Sabrina blurted out.

"Your cousin Amanda? The brat! What kind of fantasy could you have involving her?"

"I'm too embarrassed to say."

"We can call Cousin Marigold to send Amanda so that you can ask her to fulfill your fantasy," Zelda suggested.

"No, no. The desire must go away of its own accord; it's too repulsive."

"Sabrina, you can't run away from a Noble Ipalae wish. One Noble Ipalae I wanted to dissolve my fiancé in liquid nitrogen. Even though he was the star of my life, until I had done it, I couldn't get it out of my head. It sticks in there like lead."

"You're a poet and you don't know it!" Hilda laughed.

"So what happened to your fiancé?" their niece asked.

"He died," Zelda said. "Dissolving someone in nitrogen causes their body to become more susceptible to ultraviolent rays. Undoing it defies the Heisenberg Uncertainty principle."

Sabrina was confused by all this advanced science talk. "Well, I'd better go," she said, shaking her head. "Don't want to be late."

A second later, she was gone.

"Amanda has to come here, you know," Zelda said.

"But not today," said Hilda. "This mail I just got from the Other Realm says that the portal will only send people from this realm to the Shopping Mall of Fate, until 9 p.m. tomorrow night."

"Then why are you so miserable?"

"My N.I.D. desire is to wrestle Muffnus the sea otter and they won't be bringing him to the shopping mall today."

"We can arrange for it to happen," Salem said.

"How do you 'arrange' for a sea lion to be at a shopping mall?"

"Easy. I'm Salem Saberhagen, and there's nothing I can't do. Yow!" Salem screeched, for he had just got his paw stuck in a needle from Hilda's magical thread when he landed on the kitchen floor.

"Think he can really manage it?" Hilda asked Zelda.

"He's resourceful," Zelsa said, pensively. "I expect it can be done."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^6

At school, Sabrina failed two pop quizzes, and a history exam, even though she had studied arduously for that test. Her mind could think of nothing but her Noble Ipalae desire. This was one of those days where she wished she weren't a Spellman. Or a witch, for that matter.

Harvey was ignoring her, for some reason. Maybe he knew what she wanted. Sabrina decided to not go work at the coffee house today; she needed to get home lickety-split and figure out how to inveigle Amanda into doing what she wanted to happen so badly. And smelling like ground coffee would not make Amanda any more inclined to do that, in fact, it might persuade her to put a damper on Sabrina's dreams…

When she got home, she had a sudden urge to go to the Other Realm. She tried to push off that caprice so that she could focus on solving the problem at hand, but somehow this seemed to be a part of Noble Ipalae Day. Maybe if she did this right, she'd find the solution there. After all, that was where Amanda was likely to be, right? Perhaps Amanda didn't need to do it in the comfort of Sabrina's own home. Perhaps it would feel more like her cousin had thought of it if was in the Other Realm. Either way, she couldn't resist the urge, and so she leapt into the closet to see where it'd take her.

Before she shut the door, however, Salem, perched on a laundry basket, looked at her with beady eyes. "Where do you think you're going, young lady?"

"The Other Realm."

"You might want to think twice about it first. All trips from this realm to the Other one today and tomorrow will send you only to one place, the Shopping Mall of Fate." The last five words came out ominously.

"What's that?" Sabrina asked. She didn't have the whole Other Realm mapped out, only knowing a handful of places compared to those of the mortal realm.

"Only the most dangerous place in any known realm. Anything can happen there, absolutely anything. It defies the very laws of physics. And probability too, I might add."

"Oh well, I have to go. Besides, Cousin Amanda might be there," Sabrina said giddily, "and I might be able to convince her to fart on me."

Salem opened his mouth wide in surprise, but Sabrina shut the closet door and a bolt of lightning flashed, indicating she had been instantly transported to the Other Realm, in this case, the Shopping Mall of Fate.

When she opened her eyes, she found herself standing outside a bookshop. _Destiny Pages_ , the store was called. She entered, just to look around. There were many books that looked promising. And then she saw _The White Book_. She opened it and at first thought every page was blank. Then she noticed something in very tiny print, and zapped herself a magnifying glass in order to read it.l

 _If it is Noble Ipalae Day, write your wish on the cover in blue ink and put it back on the shelf. Your wish will come true._

The itch to have Cousin Amanda fart on her grew ever more forceful and demanding as the minutes elapsed. She decided to take the book's advice.

She zapped a blue permanent marker into her hand, and wrote in smooth, cursive letters: _My cousin Amanda must fart on me soon or I will blow a volcano like Mt. Vesuvius._

Then she carefully placed the book back on its shelf. Nothing happened, and Sabrina felt like cursing all the people in the shop. Then she stepped away and saw a nine-year-old girl reach for _The White Book_.

She ran into the back of the bookstore so that no one would find out she was the one who wrote the thing about her cousin Amanda releasing flatulence on her. She had a funny feeling that people would want to see her roaste don the end of a marshmallow stick if they knew that was her Noble Ipalae wish.

She sat on a Chesterfield couch and zapped herself a couple of pictures of Amanda's cute fifteen-year-old butt. She kissed them as surreptitiously as she could, hoping no one was watching. Of course, pictures of that cute posterior were nothing compared to the real thing…this was just so she could remain in her senses and not go crazy…she needed it to happen soon!

She picked up a book by L. Frank Baum hoping that stories of Dorothy could get her mind off things. Why there were Oz books in the Other Realm Sabrina hadn't the foggiest, but there they were.

Then all of a sudden everyone in the shop vanished. Sabrina was alone. She walked over to a window, and peered out. Clouds shone brightly in the sky, and she thought one resembled Amanda's buttocks, if only they would rest on either side of her nose, squirting huge dollops of fart in her nostrils…

The people were back, and there was commotion in the front of the store. Sabrina wondered if she had dozed off. She approached the crowd to find out what all the brouhaha was about.

"Someone should burn this book!"

"It's just somebody's Noble Ipalae wish."

"Yes, but that's outrageous, preposterous, radical, irrational…"

"Which is true of all Noble Ipalae wishes, Cassandra. Remember the time you wanted to turn yourself into a specimen of E. coli So that you could see the inside of a cow firsthand?"

"That's not the same as wanting your female cousin to break wind on you!" the woman who must be Cassandra said.

"I think it's cute," said the other woman. "We should help her wish come true, soon as we find out who wrote this wish down."

"Help her? This is wicked! She should be tied to a mast and fed to cannibalistic mermaids."

"How do you know it's a she?"

"Look at her handwriting! No warlock writes like that. At least not a self-respecting one."

"Well, then, it's even cuter. A witch dying for her cute female cousin to fart on her…I'd live like a mortal for a month just to see it come to pass."

"Erin, you're too open-minded about people's Noble Ipalae desires. The craziness of today is hindering you from thinking that this is revolting, and unheard of."

"Come on, Cassie, live a little," the witch known as Erin said, nudging Cassandra in the ribs.

"Whoever wrote it should be punished," said another woman. "My little Ashley is vomiting after having read that."

"Your daughter should stick to L. Frank Baum," Erin said. "But I know for a fact that she reads The Wicked Adventures of Demon-Boy and Maiden Larvae, which is way beyond her age group. I think she can stomach a girl wanting her female cousin to fart on her."

"Let's stop arguing and find the person responsible for this heinous desire!" Cassandra exclaimed.

Ashley's mother tapped the portion of the cover with her finger, muttering, "Some wicked girl presumable wrote this/If female she be, show us where she stands."

A ethereal compass appeared on the cover of the book, its arrow spinning, finally landing on a point where its aim was directed at Sabrina. Cassandra, Erin, and Ashley's mother approached her.

"I didn't do it!" Sabrina exclaimed, but they went past her to grab another witch, who was standing next to her father.

"Jessica, daughter of Wazarb. You have a cousin named Amanda, don't you?"

"Yes, one about my age. Why?" the young witch asked, playing with the petals on the flower in her hair which gave her a very distinctive look.

"The book says you wrote a corrupt message about wanting your cousin Amanda to fart on you."

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" the girl said, looking directly at Cassandra's hate-filled eyes. "Who would want something as disgusting as that?"

"Stop trying to hide. The book doesn't lie."

"Maybe your direction spell is off," the warlock said, growling. "Jessica didn't write that."

"Yes, she did, and now my daughter has been exposed to her revolting desires."

"Jessica's Noble Ipalae wish today was to be accused of a crime she didn't commit. You are fulfilling her desire now, but the real culprit could be that young woman there," the warlock said, indicating Sabrina.

"Don't you see she's innocent?" Erin said, before pointing to the volume still in Sabrina's hand. "Look, she's reading L. Frank Baum like a decent person would. You really think fan of Dorothy's adventures in Oz would have this super cute…and dare I say, sexy?—wish? Whereas your daughter could very easily want something like this."

"Only you would find it sexy, Erin," Cassandra said.

Sabrina felt a bit guilty as she slunk away from them, but at the same time she felt joyous. They didn't suspect her! And the Jessica witch was getting her wish, wasn't she? To be accused of a crime she didn't commit…

Well, it wasn't a crime per se. Was it? Were there Other Realm laws against wanting to be farted on? It was odd if there were.

But Erin thought this desire was 'sexy.' In her eyes at least, it wasn't that bad at all. She also seemed to think it was cute. Maybe Sabrina should think of it in that light as well. A cute and sexy desire was much more appealing than wanting to be an E. Coli just to see the stomach of a cow from the inside, yearning to dissolve your fiancé in dangerous chemicals, or getting accosted about a crime you didn't partake in.

Whatever. Sabrina was not from the Other Realm, so even if was a crime there, it wasn't a crime in the mortal realm. So all she had to do was get herself back there. And then she'd be in the clear.

The three witches vanished along with the warlock and his daughter. Four cards appeared and floated to the ground. Sabrina picked up the first one.

"I, Cassandra Bien Shrover, had my Noble Ipalae wish fulfilled when I read the dirtiest sentence I ever came across in my life and was capable of raising alarm against a criminal."

The second card was quite curious, for it read:

"I, Erin Quinn Yumby, have fulfilled my Noble Ipalae wish of finding a girl who still reads L. Frank Baum as a teenager."

Then the third card:

"I, Agatha Luteen Firebrand, had my Noble Ipalae wish fulfilled when my daughter Ashley's mind became dirty from a book."

The latter really shocked Sabrina. She didn't like the hint that she had corrupted a little girl but if what Erin said was true, the girl was already reading filthy literature so Sabrina had no cause in furthering it, not really. It also correlated with Erin's use of the word "sexy" in regards to Sabrina's N.I.D. Given that sexy and dirty often go hand in hand.

The fourth and final card said,

"I, Jessica Yarmitz Wazarb, had my Noble Ipalae wish fulfilled when I was accused of a crime I didn't commit."

Sabrina pocketed these cards because they gave her hope that her wish could come to pass after all. She then realized the one place she really needed to be was home, so she left the bookstore and zapped herself to the linen closet in her aunt's Victorian house.

When she opened the door, she was greeted by peals of surprise. Her fourteen-year-old cousin hugged her tight. "Oh, I missed you so much!" Amanda said, cheerily.

Aunt Hilda and Aunt Zelda were standing there too. "Salem told us about your escapade to the Other Realm," the latter said. "We expected you to be at the coffee house, and had already called Cousin Marigold to send Amanda so that your Noble Ipalae wish could be fulfilled, and it was too late to cancel."

"You guys are the best," Sabrina said, hugging both her aunts.

"So what is your Noble Ipalae wish?" Hilda inquired.

"Shh, let's leave them be, shall we?" Zelda said. Then she and Aunt Hilda went down the stairs.

Sabrina pulled Amanda into her bedroom, right across the hall from the linen closet.

"I'm dying to know what cousin Sabrina's Noble Ipalae desire has to do with me," Amanda said.

"Well, I'm a little embarrassed about it."

"I can't grant it if I don't know what it is."

"Well…you see…I really want you to…erm, to fart on me."

Amanda's eyebrows narrowed. "Excuse me?"

"It's not that difficult to do. I just want you to pass gas on me."

"That certainly can be arranged," Amanda said, licking her lips. "But where should I do it? Neck, belly, feet?"

"Well, I have an image of you—promise you won't think I'm a dork?"

"Oh, Sabrina. I already think you're a dork. Nothing you say today will change that."

"Oh, right. Well, I w3ant you to fart on my face."

"Suits me," Amanda said. A few minutes later, Sabrina was lying supine on her bed, and Amanda had her legs spread wide, lowering her posterior toward Sabrina's head. "With or without panties?" her cousin asked.

"Although it might be more enjoyable without," Sabrina said, "It's probably safer if you leave them up."

"Down it is," Amanda said, and cast a spell causing her panties to vanish. She lowered her butt so slowly that it was half a minute more before her posterior made contact with Sabrina's lips. Then Amanda let out a humungous fart.

Sabrina drew pleasure from it. It was what she wanted more than anything; she felt a ripple of ecstasy run down her spine. Then came another fart. And another. What bliss! She felt like she was on cloud nine; she could stay up here forever…

And then suddenly she found her situation repulsive. Amanda continued to fart, but Sabrina felt like she had just been violated. Was this what Erin meant about it being sexy? That doing this with someone you weren't in love with or weren't overly fond of, made it feel…uncomfortable? Almost like rape though nowhere near as bad.

 _It's jut farting,_ Sabrina tried to tell herself, as she was forced to swallow a particularly revolting wad of flatulence. _And Amanda's not that bad. Nowhere near like she used to be. I don't really mind being farted on by her. I just wish…I still wanted it badly enough._

Amanda's butt was bare now. Sabrina felt it to be hot, to be under such a wonderful posterior…but did she really want to keep being farted on?

 _Yes, no, yes, no, I want it, I don't want it…oh please don't let it end, make It STOP!_

Her mind was oscillating back and forth between desire and disgust. Which would prevail?

Oh gosh. What had Amanda eaten to create that last fart, so puissant and nasty to breathe in? Sabrina felt as if her throat were folding in over itself from all the gas inside it, emitted from Amanda's anus, situated over Sabrina's nostrils.

Sabrina couldn't take it anymore. She had to see if Amanda could take the heat as much as she had to endure. These were desperate times, which called for desperate measures. She had to use the tongue.

Nothing would have startled Amanda more than what happened next. Sabrina licked her posterior, savoring its now fart-drenched taste. Amanda jumped up eight feet, and Sabrina, struggling within herself, rolled over and zapped herself to another part of her room as Amanda's bare butt plummeted on Sabrina's pillow, making Sabrina giddy that when she slept that night, Amanda's odor would still be present.

"Hey, you wanted me to fart on you, so I did. There was no reason to lick my butt too.l"

"You were getting out of control," Sabrina informed her. "Any longer and my face would've gotten stuck to your read end."

"It would've been the perfect place for it. Besides, I could live with that. Farting on you all day, each and every day for the rest of our lives. And since we're witches and not mortals, that means forever."

"That would drive me insane," Sabrina said, though secretly she wanted it to happen more than anything.

Both of Sabrina's aunts entered at that moment. Hilda grabbed Amanda and pulled her into the hallway. Then tossed her into the linen closet. "Your Noble Ipalae go too far?" she asked, when she returned.

"She wasz getting greedy," Sabrina said, not admitting that she wished Amanda had been greedier.

"That tends to happen when your Noble Ipalae desire is grounded in the willingness of someone else," Zelda told her. "But it's over now."

"Look, your card!" Hilda exclaimed, a 4x5 with a red and blue design on the front. Hilda picked it up to open it but Sabrina zapped it to her hand.

"Fine," Hilda said, perturbed. "I'll ask Salem about it. He seemed to think it was hilarious."

Zelda followed Hilda after the latter slammed the door. "Sorry," she said back to Sabrina. "My Noble Ipalae desire for this year was to have a door slammed into my face by Hilda. Now it's come true." Zelda picked up the card from Sabrina's threshold which had appeared there and shunted out, closing the door carefully behind her.

Sabrina was now left in peace to read her card. It said, "I, Sabrina Morgan Spellman, had my Noble Ipalae wish fulfilled when my cousin Amanda farted on me."

She held the card to her heart, then slipped it beneath her pillow. Maybe one day Amanda would do it again. And when she did, Sabrina would be ready to be submissive.

She had a fleeting thought how happy she was this day wouldn't come again for another four years. It only happened during leap years, Aunt Zelda had said. But…Sabrina had the funny feeling that this Noble Ipalae Day wasn't the end of it. Like her temporary desire had been filled, but she was now filled with a craving to have it happen again. _Just once more and I'll be fine,_ she said to herself. But as she sniffed the butt imprint that Amanda's posterior had made on her pillow, Sabrina had the distinct feeling that it wasn't over—wouldn't be over until she was funny and forever restrained to be farted on by her cousin Amanda, the joy of which would make her the happiest person in any realm.


End file.
